This may or may not surprise you - we all probably know it at this point. The act is sacred. It is deepest purest connection with another, and thus Self. I was amazed how this has changed and evolved for me and wanted to share a few things I became aware of.
Coming from a place of holding trauma in my womb from long ago, with a lot of shame and guilt that I carried collectively, to fully being able to let go and allow pure blissful connection and raw wild woman expression during sex has been a journey! I talked about it before, but the yoni egg really has helped me to shed layers upon layers of wounds and also made me much more sensitive to what is actually happening "down there". It has helped activate incredible pleasure spots that just felt totally numb before. (If you desire more information about this, I link the yoni egg article here.)
Experiencing a wonderful partnership with deep intimate connection has definitely helped me unlock some of the magic and also made me understand much of "how I tick" in the bedroom (or wherever hehe). I came to realise that it is all a reflection of your experience of life, even when it comes to sex and intimacy. How are your boundaries? Are you allowing yourself to go deep and explore the other person, or are you merely trying to satisfy your urges? Or can it be a mix of both, giving and receiving pleasure while exploring the other, submerging yourself in the essence of your partner. I have studied the tantra and different sacred sexual practises- but to be honest, sex happens in a sacred way when you truly connect with someone, when you feel safe to let go. I understood that everything about it is so precious and sacred that when it all flows, it will be like a long meditation feeling like two fluid existences merging and blending into one another becoming one. The becoming one part happens, you guessed it, when both reach the big O. at the same exact time. Or at least, that's how I have experienced it. This is a whole other level, I can hardly articulate it in words. You can't force it either, there is a time for it, both will feel it and then it just happens. There are these beliefs in society that "happy couples should have sex so and so many times per week", but honestly, all of this doesn't make sense when you start living as the ebb and flow of life. When we detach from how it should be or supposed to look like, that's when we make room for the magic to happen. I understood there are rhythms in everything, it's all alive and it all flows at its own pace. When it comes to sex, it's not even that much of an "active" experience. It's just like you become a vessel and are on autopilot. To me it feels like an immersion in the senses and joys of the physical body. All at the same time being a journey to the depths of your own existence.
The more I became whole and the more I was expressing of myself in my life in general, the "more I would get" from having sex (if that makes any sense). I have had incredible visions and heard music during sex, no kidding! And I am well aware that this has nothing to do with the image society plants in us of what sex is or should be like. I believe we can experience sex in its purest form, the way it was intended to be, when we let go fully. I am also not saying that sex is just a crazy spiritual experience, I am saying that sex in and of itself with all it brings, especially sex that results in creating life is incredibly sacred! Sex is the ultimate celebration of life.